Mexican Miscellany and Addenda
The Indolence of the San Ignacians
We stayed several days at the lagoon near San Ignacio; one of my favorite stays. The people of San Ignacio are made the butt of jokes that portray them as the laziest people in Baja. This is an unfair stereotyping, of course, and it is believed that the jokes are spread by the people of La Paz who are, in fact, the least energetic people of Baja.
- Miguel is sitting on the porch of his home in San Ignacio. He sees a scorpion approaching slowly from the other side of the porch and yells for his wife to bring the antidota because he knows that, eventually, the scorpion will make it’s way across the porch and bite him.
- Miguel is sitting on his porch; his friend Ramon sits on the other side of the porch. Ramon says, “Miguel, it is a miracle! The sky has opened up and I see Jesus Cristo, the virgin of Guadelupe, and a host of angels descending from the heavens!” Miguel says, “Ramon, my friend, I wish I was on your side of the porch to see it.”
(On the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, when I was a wee lad I remember a version of this joke based on a floating mountain, a couple of” hillbillies,” and the element “upsidaisium”.)
The Roads and Traffic
The bridges of the major highways, of which there are two, that cross the seasonal rivers, of which there are multitudes, are washed out with regularity. During the rebuilding of the bridges all traffic is diverted onto dirt. Only the barest effort goes into the construction of these detours, which can be the only road for years and can run for a hundred yards to a mile or more; they are soft sand, hard rock, foot deep mud or a combination of all three. They are rarely wide enough for two vehicles. There is no attempt at traffic control. It is a free-for-all and if they are muddy you have no choice but to plow ahead at a high speed to prevent getting stuck, hoping that you don’t have to negotiate passage with an oncoming passenger bus. Like a lot of traffic situations in Mexico, it would be comical if it weren’t so stressful and fraught with danger.
Sometimes you see stop signs where you would expect to see them. Sometimes they are on the left. Sometimes they are on the far side of the intersection, on the left or the right. Sometimes they are twenty feet ahead of the intersection they govern. Sometimes there is no sign but the word “Alto” is painted on the road. No one pays any attention anyway. They might slow down in acknowledgment of a stop sign, but imperceptibly. Gringos like me just confuse the local drivers by stopping entirely. The cities might as well have no dividing lines or traffic signs of any kind; traffic in Ensenada is a goat rodeo.
There are traffic calming devices called “topes” in every town. These are speed bumps. Some topes are well marked; sometimes a sign alerts you that one is near; most are unmarked in any manner. They don’t conform to any standard. Some are just thick ropes embedded in the pavement or dirt; some are like asphalt I-beams embedded in the road. You will not get far in Baja without slamming into a few of these. Sometimes they appear out of nowhere on the highway, marking a bus stop or a pedestrian crossing to a cemetery or a taqueria.
A lot of Baja road projects give every indication of being pork projects—a nice road in the middle of an otherwise dirt-track town that goes to the home or business of someone influential; a stretch of overly engineered road, connecting long stretches of decrepit highway, built by the contractor cousin of the local jefe. While we were in Los Barriles a large crew was building a sixteen inch thick, heavily rebarred concrete road about five blocks long through an undistinguished neighborhood . There was nothing about this stretch of road to distinguish it from the rest of the town’s’ roads which were deeply-rutted dirt affairs—it wasn’t a heavily-used thoroughfare; it didn’t connect anything to anything. Meanwhile the sidewalks of the town had unmarked holes in them large enough to lose a wheelbarrow in.
Cops and the Military
The local police are the most corrupt and the most likely to try and shake down the gringos. We have not been stopped by any municipal cops but talked to plenty of people who have. They charge you with some imaginary infraction and offer to resolve it on the spot for a price. If you think it is too much to pay you can offer to follow the officer to the police station and resolve it there, which usually makes the cop back off. Or you decide it isn’t worth the hassle and you pay the twenty or forty dollar shakedown. While we were in baja 160 local cops were fired for being unable to pass a lie detector test about abuse of office.
One guy told me he was stopped by a policewoman, on foot, for making an illegal left turn. “Uno infracion!” she said. He had left his wallet in his camper and so didn’t have his license. “Dos infraction!” She commanded him to drive her to the station house. He didn’t have a back seat in his vehicle so the large woman sat in the space allowed. After going to the station and paying the $20 fine, the policewoman asked for a ride back to her post. He drove her and they all laughed and felt like friends.
The federal police have checkpoints but these are for citizens, it appears; they waved us through in all occasions except one when the officer wanted to know how much our trailer cost.
The military runs checkpoints throughout the states of Baja. I don’t know what they are looking for exactly. We were stopped at about a dozen. Sometimes they are eating lunch and just wave us through. On about four occasions they went inside the trailer and poked around. Only one guy acted all business, the rest were quite pleasant and friendly. On two occasions the inspector mentioned Trump. The first time I said “Trump es muy mal hombre” but thought afterward that this could sound like I was saying “Trump in one bad dude” so the next time I used my son’s recommended construction, “Trump is basura” (“Trump is trash.”). The commondante, upon hearing this from an American, was visibly touched. He held two fingers together and said, “Mexico, Estado Unidas, like brothers.” We shook hands warmly.
According to several fellow travelers, the police and the military personnel are sincerely interested in the high intensity, focusable flashlights you can get in the US–looking them over, inquiring about the price, and where to get them. A friend of mine in the 1970s financed his travels in Belize by trading sets of sewing needles; from the sound of it you could probably bring a case of these flashlights to Baja and barter for accommodations and meals.
People’s Attitudes
Ninety eight percent of the people we encountered treated us like we would want to be treated, with benign neglect. One percent of the people were jive—being too friendly, too eager to help us buy or find something. One percent was not hostile but evinced a barely-concealed contempt–conduct your business and get out but don’t overstay your welcome. Some towns like Cabo or Todos Santos or San Felipe really rely on tourism and there you will find the overly nice as well as the barely tolerant. In the towns of the interior that have lively agricultural or industrial economies, like Guerrera Negra or Ciudad Constitucion, or even Santa Rosalia on the coast, there is no warmth but a general sense that you had best keep a low profile and clear out at the earliest opportunity. In the more remote towns with little tourist trade and marginal economies, like Mulege, Bahia de Los Angeles, and Bahia Ascunsion, the people were relaxed, friendly, sometimes interested in us; these were our favorites. Sometimes we could share a joke, like when Alan and I brought bags of dirty clothes to the laundress. She asked, “Junta?” I made an exaggerated shocked look and said vehemently, “No Junta! Tengo una esposa!” (“Not together! I have a wife!”). She cracked up and when we returned the next day she started laughing again.
Geronimo
Geronimo has been the most frequently-mentioned personality of our trip, from Florida, where he was imprisoned, to the western states where he made his fame. He cropped up in Baja too, at a small display in Mama Espinoza’s restaurant in Rosario—a glass case contained artifacts supposedly left by Geronimo’s war party when they passed through.
Environment
I have never seen waters as healthy as those of the Gulf of California. Wade out knee deep, pick up a piece or rock or coral, and the life just falls off it—tiny crabs, starfish, worms. Fish and waterfowl of all sizes and types abound. Of course one old Baja hand who had been coming here a long time burst my bubble by saying, “You should have seen this place back in the sixties.” Of course.
The net fishermen of San felipe have almost succeeded in exterminating the vaquita porpoise, the world’s smallest and most endangered cetacean. Their current population is estimated at fewer than sixty individuals (the porpoise, not the fishermen). While we were in San Feliipe the Mexican navy was patrolling the bay looking for illegal fishing activity. A few days before we exited Mexico some san Felipe watermen beat up three government environmental scientists and burned their vehicles. In Maryland the watermen just have to ask Governor Hogan to fire scientists whose findings might lead to limits on harvesting, as happened around the same time as the San Felipe violence .
Hot Pepper
One day at Danny’s taco establishment (stick-made covers that swing down over the door and the windows, four tables) I saw an older gentleman ask for something, and Danny’s wife brought out a bag of long, slender green peppers. He ate them like celery, biting off big hunks between bites of his tacos. The next time I dined there I patched together a question from my dictionary, “Cuales fueron pimientos, que vi a viejo comer, aqui?” gesturing to where he had been sitting. She produced the bag of peppers and offered them. Of course I had to try them. Hottest thing I ever bit into willingly; it was all I tasted for the rest of the meal. She laughed.
Vaqueros
A Mexican cowboy on horseback—bolt upright, bright white hat,blue- or red-checked shirt, wide leather belt—is one of the most cool, dignified dudes you will ever see.